We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
