Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize