No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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