There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize