I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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