Cold hands, warm shart.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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