I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
please come you make the beer taste better
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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