And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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