found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
