It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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