My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
