guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Randomize
