i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
