but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
