So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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