doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
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My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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