Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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