Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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