two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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