Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
