Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
