i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
