Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
