when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
