On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
