he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
