She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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