She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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