yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
