Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
