Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I need to align my fucking chakras
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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