im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize