dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
did i just pee glitter
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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