I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
