YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
