pedialite and red bull = repair kit
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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