well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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