How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
