Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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