I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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