Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
