I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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