Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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