Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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