So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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