then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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