Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
