I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
