Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
