apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
