Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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