I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
