He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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