Where did you get a picture of my penis
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
