That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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