hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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