4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
one might say we're banned from that church
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
