If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
